04 March 2006

We're Falling Apart to Half Time

What are you supposed to do when someone you thought was your friend seems to be avoiding you? This whole situation is so sixth-grade or maybe I'm imagining things. I'm not sure...

I've known E since we were juniors in college. We worked together and just started hanging out over time. I guess we kind of bonded over the fact we were both going into teaching because, when I think about it, I'm not sure how much else we really have in common. Anyways, I've known her for about 8 years now. We got in one totally stupid girl fight a few years ago (over a guy, of course) and after that I was never stupid enough to tell her what I really thought about her taste in men. I have some difficulties with the guy she's seeing right now (mostly because I don't think he treats her very well, I think she could do a lot better and he just seems to make her upset most of the time) but I will NOT, under ANY circumstances, say anything like that to her. I learned from the last time around.

So, since I moved back to Ann Arbor, we've been hanging out again, but not very much. I understand that she has her own circle of friends, but it seems like the times we do actually hang out, all she does is talk about the guy--either how great he is (if they're together at that moment) or how miserable she is because they broke up for the 700th time. When they're together she's spending all of her time with him or planning for when she will be with him and thus too busy to hang out. When they've broken up she's too miserable to hang out. So, it gets a little frustrating, but again, I'm not getting into that fight again, so I don't say anything.

Here's the other thing that bothers me though, I feel like this friendship has become totally one-sided. She never calls, never wants to hang out and on the rare occasions I do get her out, she usually takes off early, claims she's tired but I can't quite believe her all the time. It's so shitty of me, but I really think she's running off to be with him. It sucks because I thought we were better friends than that.

So, I've dealt with not hanging out much. Lately she's been totally uncommunicative though. I mean SILENT. I called last weekend, she said she was sick and would call me back (she really did sound sick, so no problem there). Thing is, she never called back. I tried calling again in the middle of the week to see how she was doing. She said she was feeling somewhat better, couldn't talk and would call me back. No call. I tried again this weekend, she didn't answer, I left a message and haven't gotten a call back. Maybe she's still sick. I'd really like to give her the benefit of the doubt, but I'm getting annoyed. No, I"m getting pissed. I thought we were friends. I'm beginning to get the feeling that she's screening her calls and the only reason she picked up in the middle of the week was because she didn't recognize the number I was calling from. I don't know what's going on and I obviously won't find out since she appears to be avoiding me.

Maybe I'm making more out of this than I should. Maybe she's just been feeling under the weather. I know she hasn't been up to her ears with schoolwork because she was on vacation all week. Maybe she's just had other things going on, but I thought she was enough of a friend that she could at least give me a quick call back. I'm really pretty hurt by this. That's it. The proverbial ball is in her court. I'm not calling anymore. If she wants to talk, she knows where to find me, but I'm not running after her anymore.
~S

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