The Dress Post

Ok, so, first off this is going to require a bit of bravery on my part. Some of these pictures are quite unflattering...

Back a month or two ago, I didn't see a whole lot of reason to wait to go wedding dress shopping. Of course I'd already started looking and stocked up on wedding magazines and catalogs. I had the time and my local bridesmaids (though they didn't know they were bridesmaids at the time) were free since the lot of us are teachers, so off we went to go dress shopping. I had some ideas as to what I wanted in a dress and some things I wanted to try (mostly because my mom thought I shouldn't wear such things) and little else in the way of real wedding dress knowledge other than what I thought was waaaaay too much to spend on a dress I'll be wearing for one day. I wanted it to be pretty and flattering and make me feel like a million bucks but not COST a million bucks. Beyond that, I also knew I'd be dealing with sample sizes in some cases.

Ugh.

Sample sizes.

For those of you that don't know (probably limited to any guys that might read my blog), in many places wedding dresses are only availible to try on in sample sizes. That means sizes 4, 6 and maybe if you're REALLY lucky, a size 8. Please remember, the average woman in the US is a size 14 and weighs 162.9 lbs (according to the LA Times at least). Now, I'm not a size 6. I'll readily admit that. However, I'm also not a size 14 (Ok, full disclosure, I wear an 8 or a 10, depending on the brand and what article of clothing is in question), so I'm definitely under the average. But that still doesn't mean I'll fit into a sample size. I was dreading this part of the process. In some ways it didn't help that I was going dress shopping with two girls I love, but both who are definitely thinner than me. I already felt like a bit of a heifer.

Anyways, off we go to Vintage to Vogue. V2V is a small boutique in Kerrytown and I'd often seen them displaying wedding dresses in their shop window. I figured it was a good enough place to start as I'd been in there before and thought they had interesting clothes. Yes, they only had sample sizes so, in the odd way that it is, one has to imagine what one might look like in said dress without being able to zip it up all the way. Or get it over your hips. Not an easy feat. My compatriates also felt that I should just try EVERYTHING on, whether I liked it on the hanger or not. So, I let them take charge as they'd both been through this process before. KJ and Wife just started handing me dresses and told me to put them on. Some were ok, some were hideous and many looked totally HORRIBLE on me. Looking at the pictures, you can usually tell what I thought based on my facial expressions. Ok. Be brave. Here we go...

This wasn't one of the worst of the lot, but maybe my mom is right, maybe strapless dresses aren't the right way to go for me...ever.

Definitely not skinny enough to wear THIS dress. Let's just pull a little MORE attention to my not-so-skinny middle, why don't we? At least I could zip it up...

Again, at least it could be zipped up, but (to me) it looks like it was kept wadded up in a bag until someone pulled it out. And I hated the neckline even though others tried to convince me it looked ok. Ugh.

Same one.

Ah yes, try to imagine what this would look like if I could actually zip it up...It might have been one of the better ones, but I couldn't imagine myself in it without having to hold the back closed. Stupid sample sizes.

Again, just not me. And all of these dresses were definitely in the league of "why on EARTH pay so much for something I'll wear once!?" I couldn't justify it no matter what. Just as well that I

didn't love any of them

Ok, so with a bunch of them under my proverbial belt, we went off to see what David's Bridal had in store. I knew for certain there was one dress I very much wanted to try on, but I was increasingly nervous that it would only look good on the mannequin and not me. I gave the woman a list of the dresses I wanted to try and the "fun" began. At least here they came in all the sizes...

Ok, this one wasn't too bad. It really wasn't. I'm trying to remember but I think this got ruled out because it was too low in the back. I had two issues with that. 1. I really would be more comfortable wearing a bra (probably too much info, but too late) and 2. I didn't want my back tattoo showing. My mother is still unaware that I have one, much less five and I'm trying to keep it that way because I will NEVER hear the end of it otherwise. She has very specific ideas about such things. She'll learn someday, I'm trying to postpone it as long as I can because it WILL be world war 3.

Ugh. It looked way better on the model in the catalog. It was also terrifically itchy. I figured if I was that annoyed by the itchiness within five minutes, it wouldn't stand a chance at the wedding. No dice.

Another that looked waaay cuter in the pictures in the catalog. I wasn't too seriously considering a short dress but figured if I was there trying stuff on, why not. Definitely not the winner.

This one I actually liked quite a bit, at least the way it looked in the back. The collar part was a little weird and neither KJ or Wife particularly liked it. I still think the back (next photo) is quite striking although the way it's gathered draws a little too much attention to my butt. It definitely was one of the ones I liked more though.

I am rather obviously underwhelmed by this one. I think the pointy bits on the bodice are weird, though they had that on quite a few strapless dresses. It isn't bad, it just doesn't look particularly great on me.

However, lest you think this was a fruitless trip, I did try one one dress (the one I went in really wanting to try) and fell in love with it. It looks great. It fits perfectly (other than being way too long, or maybe I'm too short) and it is very much me. I will feel totally comfortable in it. I won't be pulling things up, worrying my butt looks big or if I'm itchy. It even has pockets. It's kind of vintage-y looking, very plain (no lace, sequins or appliques of any sort) and classic. Wife and my mom describe it as being quite Audrey Hepburn. I love it and haven't the slightest worry that I'll find anything I'd like more. Even better? It was totally in the range of acceptable prices for something I will wear once. I will not post pictures because Jon reads this and, being somewhat superstitious and a bit old fashioned, I want to knock his socks off when I walk down the aisle. If you really want to know what it looks like, email me and I'll tell you. Otherwise, you get to wait 10 months till we have wedding photos.

So, that's the dress saga. I'm a bit embarrassed by some of the pictures, far from flattering but so be it. If you laugh, you're just not invited ;)