Weekend round-up

Well, I guess the summer is officially over. Tomorrow is the first day of school and I'm excited, nervous and bummed that summer is over :( I hope tomorrow goes well...

Friday night was a blast. I went to see "Little Miss Sunshine" with a Jim and had a hoot. The movie is ridiculously funny and smart at the same time. I highly recommend it! We went down to Conor's after the movie, snagged a table on the sidewalk and had a few beers. After that we went to the Fleetwood (haven't been there in ages). I'm glad he'll be back around town now that summer is over (yeah, I'm being selfish, so what:) The only downside to the evening was when my parents called to find out where I was. Ok, so it was 3am, but lately they've been a lot better about not doing stuff like that. It kinda was a bit of a buzzkill...grr.

The only real bummer of late has been the whole dating situation. I went on a few dates with this guy, things seemed to be going well. I liked him, he seemed smart, had a good job, was cute and seemed to have a good relationship with his family. As always seems to be my luck, because I was interested in him, he turned out to not be interested in me. Rather than just telling me this, he did that thing...you know, when the other person just never calls you back. It's like he vaporized or fell off the face of the earth. I've decided something too:

I'm so fucking sick of people doing that. Grow a spine. Be a grown-up. Just tell the other person you aren't interested instead of doing something so fucking middle-school and just disappearing. How rude. How childish. It makes me sick.

So, I'm pretty upset about the whole situation. More than I let on I think. Not so much upset about this guy in particular (though he had more potential than anyone else I've officially dated of late), but more the fact that he pulled the disappearing act and, I have, of course, internalized the whole thing and am now going through the usual questions of: What did I do wrong? Am I ugly? Did I say something I shouldn't have? Am I not rich/smart/successful/thin enough? Aargh.

Here's what else got me really upset about the whole situation (and I'll warn you in advance, I'm in a melodramatic mood). I have a few people around me that believe things happen for a reason/there's a larger plan for you etc. Ok, so if I buy into this, it seems to me that for some reason the plan for me is to DIE ALONE. What's the benefit of that?!? What did I do wrong in this life or some past life (if you believe in that) to be destined never to find someone who will fall in love with me and me with him? It just doesn't seem fair.

It doesn't help that I've been hearing a lot about people I went to HS with since I'm now working at that school. This person is married, that person is expecting twins (and is married), this other person is moving down to DC for a job with some fancy-schmancy law firm (and is married)...I mean, am I the ONLY person from my class that isn't dating someone or married? I honestly think I must be. It wouldn't be that hard, I mean, there were only 42 people in my class. Statistically, chances are not that impossible that I'm the only single one left.

There's this one person in my life who is not only a really good person, he's smart, funny, cultured and caring. He reads books. He listens to music. He's totally Ann Arbor. The problem? He is so not interested in me in that way. What else is new?

Well, I don't know what else to say about it. I just wish I could understand why, if there is a plan for each of us, why this has to be my plan. I want a fucking new plan, this one sucks.

~S
Listening to: Dirty Pretty Things Waterloo to Anywhere