So, lately it seems like a million people from my past have popped up on Facebook and it's been a bit weird. I honestly never kept in touch with most of the people I knew in high school and now that I'm "seeing" them again, it has actually caused me all sorts of anxiety. I went to two different high schools (transferred between my sophomore and junior year) and many of the people I considered friends at my first high school grew distant when I changed schools. So, I'm seeing all these people from the past and it has made me notice a few things.
1. It's a bit insane how many people from FGR are married and having zillions of kids. It makes me wonder if they look at my profile and think I'm a pathetic loser. Or maybe they're envious, hard to say. It also makes me wonder if they consider me a lousy Catholic because of that (I accept I'm a lousy Catholic for lots of other reasons, but I don't need to add that to the list).
2. All my leftover self-consciousness from not being in the "cool" or "popular" groups resurfaces with Facebook. Will my profile "prove" that I'm "cool" now? And then I remember that it really shouldn't even matter in the first place. Why do I care what these people think of me anymore? I haven't seen them since 1996. It doesn't matter, but I can't help but wonder...
3. I also have this fear that if I friend some one, particularly people from my first high school, that they won't remember me. We did NOT go to a big school (there were probably only about 50 people in my class) and many of us had gone to school together since elementary school or middle school. Until today, it hadn't been an issue. Then I found someone I'd been pretty good friends with in 10th grade (she was a year behind me) and friended her. I got a message back, "Do I know you?" I guess what made it a little surprising is that she'd hung out at my house, been to birthday parties and so forth. Anyways, it fed into my fear that I'm a completely forgettable person (again, not Ms. Popular in HS, very quiet, very shy). I am SURE I am over-analyzing all this.
Anyways, it's just interesting I guess. It makes me feel stupid though that all these insecurities can pop up even 13 years after the fact. I wonder if I'm the only one that feels this way...
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6 years ago
5 comments:
I'm older than you and I have the same thoughts about Facebook. In fact, I just had this conversation with another friend who was having panic attacks because a girl that made her life miserable in elementary school requested an add. Ha! And I guarantee you, they think you're cool - because you are.
Heh, thanks. I'm also glad to know I'm not the only one anxious about it all...
You're absolutely not the only one. I've had a few random people from high school friend me, and you know, I think they're friend whores more than anything else (gotta get more friends! Doesn't matter if I only talked to you a few times in the four years we knew each other!). So yeah. It's weird.
I've actually been friended 5 times by the same person from high school. He's a friend of an old friend from h.s. but I don't accept friends from people that I was never really friends with in the first place. I've ignored him several times, and I've finally used the facebook thing to block him from even being able to see that I'm on facebook. Don't stress it- I'm sure most of us are all completely different people from high school- maybe the girl is bad with names and didn't recognize you now.
Hey Eve! Thanks...that would be really awesome if you wanted to help out...if you were interested in taking pictures that would be super cool too. And hey I totally agree on the facebook/high school thing. I recently approved a friend request from this guy I had a huge crush on and "dated" sort of, for like a month, and he was a huge loser actually (can only see that now 10 years later) but anyway, i looked at his friend request for like 3 days before approving it, and now, he leaves all these weird stupid comments on my profile, along with all the other people I wasn't even really friends with in high school...ugh, i dunno, it's so weird. I feel like I sort of don't want any of these people to know about me anymore, but I guess it's too late. haha. ..
I'm so jealous of you grading high school great gatsby papers and covering Morressey concerts..I feel like you have my "other life dream job" because I would love doing both of those things. ;)
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