I am quite ready for things to go back to normal

So, for the last week and a half, a bit of my life has been totally upside down. Most of you already know this, but for those that don't, here's the story.

Last Saturday I was admitted to the ER with a racing heart. We're not talking it being a little fast, at it's peak it was probably around 200 bpm (it should normally be around 70 or so). I was absolutely terrified. I am a generally healthy person. Occasionally a cold, cat allergies and such, but nothing majorly wrong with me. So, when your heart is going that fast, it's really, really scary. My mom took me to the ER, they did all sorts of blood tests (thyroid, potassium levels, etc.), an EKG (told them nothing other than my heart beat was normal, just fast) and made sure I wasn't pregnant (I'm not). Over time as I became more calm, my heart rate went down and they discharged me telling me that I need to see my regular doctor and probably will have to wear an event monitor for a while. I was so happy that my heart had stopped racing (especially since it had been going on for a few days before I finally said anything or did anything about it).

Unfortunately, it happened again on Sunday night. I woke up from a fairly deep sleep with my heart going quite fast. My mom was able to get me to calm down and lower my heart rate but then I was afraid to go back to sleep, so I was up for most of the night. Monday morning, I was a total wreck. Not only did I have to go to school on about 2 hours of sleep, but my anxiety level was through the roof. Again, my mom got me to calm down somewhat (I really think the anxiety piece of this doesn't help) provided me with some anti-anxiety medication and sent me off to school. I called my PCP's office to set up an appointment wiht the overwehlming hope that they'd see me that day (again, I was terrified and wanted someone to help this stop!). Of course my PCP wasn't in that day but the nurse did call her to talk about what to do. They tell me that it could be because my potassium is quite low and to eat more potassium-rich foods for the next week. WEEK. Then get my blood drawn on Monday (the 18th) and see the doctor on the 19th. This was TOTALLY not the answer I wanted. I really thought I was being blown off. So, of course, I called my mom (who has had heart-racing episodes herself, is a nurse and knows about this sort of thing). She said that it was actually a good possibility that the low-potassium was the cause which made me feel a bit better. So, I've spent the last week trying to boost my potassium. Unfortunately, it hasn't been a completely episode-free week. Tuesday night I had a mini-episode (again, my mom talked me out of it and Atavan helped too) and I'm still quite anxious about it all. I do hope that's all it is and the anxiety goes away soon though. It's very scary. And because I'm hyper-concious of what my heart is doing, it makes me nervous if it seems even just a teeny bit fast (which then starts the vicious cycle.)

I just want my life to go back to normal! I'm afraid to do anything that can get my heart rate up for fear that it won't go back down, so, no working out and definitely no running (so much for that 5k I was training for). I feel like a sloth, but a scared sloth.

I really hope this goes away for good soon. I'm tired of being terrified that it'll happen again at any minute. Sigh.

Time for MY 21st Century Breakdown

Well, the CDC has changed their minds and we're going back to school tomorrow. I got the call around 3pm and kind of almost had a panic attack. Why? you ask? Why should I be stressed out after having, essentially had, a four day weekend?

You would think that having had two extra days off from school would be relaxing, but I think I did more work in the last two days than I do in a normal day at school. I have been writing and responding to a gazillion emails from students. I have been creating assignments they can do at home without their textbooks (since many of them didn't bring their books home last Friday). I have been trying to come up with assignments my AP kids can do at home in preparation for the test. I have been trying to figure out what is going on with all the after school stuff like Prom which I was supposed to help chaperone this Friday. I have been trying to transcribe a taped interview so I can finally do the article. I have been trying to keep up with my training for my first ever 5k. It's been a rather mad two days. Sure, I got to sleep in beyond 5:30am, but I spent most of the day in front of my computer doing work. It's been a bit nuts.

Oh, and add to that, this was my last "real" weekend with Jon since he starts working second shift, Tuesday through Saturday nights now. That is going to take a lot of getting used to since now I'll see him once, maybe twice a week if I'm lucky. I'm leaving work when he'll be going in (and working till midnight, no less.)

So, last week it was my students needing to be talked down, today it's me. I'm hitting that panic mode to be honest. At least it's a three day week now, but still...crikey.

Well, time to go do more work and then, in honor of Cinco de Mayo, we're making Chili-lime pork and margaritas.

How long till summer break? :(

I guess that took care of things (sort of)

Well, for all my students that are panicking, last night's news either helped them or freaked them out completely.

Our school has been closed for the entire week due to one (possibly two) confirmed cases of Swine Flu. I'll be honest, part of me was thrilled at the thought of a week off. Then I realized that this means we'll have to extend the school year (ick), so I think I'd rather be there now than in June. Obviously, it isn't my decision. However, other things have been hugely impacted by this. This was supposed to be the first week of AP tests, but now our students are not allowed to take the tests and will have to go during a makeup date. My test (as of now) won't be affected since it isn't until next week (the 13th). Prom is cancelled (well, it might be rescheduled), all sports are cancelled, everything is off. However, we're trying to do some on-line classes and see how that works.

What an adventure. Still, I'll be honest, it was nice to sleep in this morning :)

21st Century Breakdown

No, this post really isn't about the new Green Day album (though I'm eager to get my hands on it and can't wait to hear it), but I did think it was an apt title for what's happening in my classroom right now.

My juniors are having meltdowns left and right.

It's that time of year again, AP test time. Tests start this week and most of my kids are taking two or three tests, so it isn't just my AP Language and Comp class that they're dealing with, it's also AP American History and AP Bio. Add to that that the school performance of Fiddler On The Roof was this weekend, and you can see where the problem is coming in.

Friday morning I had one girl come into my classroom to talk. She couldn't even make it through her first sentence before she started crying. She is totally overwhelmed with everything. Second hour of the day (AP English) I had the same girl from the morning getting weepy AND her friend getting weepy too. Third hour, I had two more kids crying in class (one with walking pneumonia who came to school because if she didn't, she couldn't perform in the musical that night).

They are worn out. They are freaking themselves out and putting insane amounts of pressure on themselves. I can actually SEE the look of panic in their faces and I feel so bad for them. So, I took time out of class to talk with them on Friday. I know they don't believe me, but I did tell them that in 10 years, no one will care what they got on their AP tests. I told them I got a 2 on the American History AP and still managed to get into the U of M, still graduated from U of M with two degrees, still went to grad school and still found a job teaching. That 2 has not haunted me for the rest of my life and it won't for them either. I told them that they need to figure out when to say they can't push anymore, to know when to take a break and get something to eat, go for a run, take a nap, call a friend for a little bit. I realize that it takes time to learn those things, but if they can walk away knowing to work on that, I think that's a step in the right direction. I got a huge hug from one of my criers after class and she thanked me profusely for taking the time to talk and reassure them.

I know how they feel, I was the same way in high school, but they're going to be ok. It's a little tough though, because there's a week and a half till the AP English exam, I want to keep they psyched for it but not get them so psyched that they completely fall apart. What to do, what to do...